Love and Loss
There are many types of love and many types of loss. I know people who have lost the loves of their lives; people who have lost parents, spouses, partners, beloved pets, and the hardest for me as a mom, people who have lost children.
When it comes to romantic love, the greater the love, the greater the loss when it is over or when it is taken from us. But ask anyone who has loved and lost if they would do it over again, and most would say yes. Most would say that the benefit of the love was worth the pain of the loss.
I’ve had several loves and losses in my life, and I’ve never regretted any of the loves, even the ones that were not reciprocated. I still learned something, and I still benefitted in some way, despite the pain.
As far as the loves that were reciprocated, well, they just ran their course, my marriage included. Some relationships have an expiration date. Maybe even most relationships, because people are constantly changing and growing, or at least we should be. We can’t always grow to be the best people we can be when we’re with the people we’re with. Sometimes we need new people—or no people—to realize our full potential.
Loss is a part of life. We don’t like to think about it, but it is inevitable that we will lose someone close to us at some point in our lives. The only way to avoid it is to never get close to anyone. But what a sad kind of life that would be, a life without love. It would be like living in the black-and-white part of the Wizard of Oz and never reaching Oz, the land of color.
Our lives are enriched by our loves. Love inherently carries the risk of loss, but it doesn’t stop us from searching for it, even after we have been hurt by it, or have lost it once or several times. I know of very few people who have entirely given up on romantic love, and the few I can think of have lives full of family and are surrounded by love of a different kind.
Whether the loss of love is through a relationship ending or through death, there is still love out there to be found. It is not the end of the world; it is not the end of a life (though it might feel like it for a while). It is just a new beginning, albeit with a painful start.
The end of one thing is just the beginning of something else. That something else is whatever you choose it to be.
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